Memory
by ellaevans12
Summary: Harry's memories of the Battle and Aftermath as they occur. Story also known as Memory of the End. Please R&R!


**A/N: Insert General Disclaimer here.**

**Please Review!**

Some days I wake up wishing that I hadn't. My whole life has been a series of losses. My parents, my godfather, my mentor.. Sometimes it's just too much. Everything is always so complicated. I have never been a normal boy. And since I was one, I have never had unconditional love. I was tolerated growing up, adored while in school, but never truly and utterly loved. And yet love is my weapon, my protection. How ironic. Most people know my name, and my history, pretend to know me, but they don't, they can't. Sometimes I don't even think my best friends truly understand me. If I didn't know better I'd think I was daft to go after Voldemort. But by branding my head with my infamous scar, he sealed my fate. I am _The Chosen One_, _The Boy Who Lived,_ whatever. I don't know how much longer the _Lived_ part will be true. I mean, I have to face off against the most feared wizard of all time. I'm not under any misconceptions that I will make it out of this. I can only hope that if I die I'll take him with me.

...

The Battle is being waged. Friends have already fallen, and others are fighting valiantly. They are doing this for me. They could have turned me over, and saved themselves. They didn't. They are fighting for me, and for a better world. A world with Voldemort at the helm is not a world worth living in. I know that is why they are doing this but it won't stop me from feeling the pain of guilt their deaths will cause, or from seeing their blood on my hands. I know I will blame myself for every person that falls here tonight, even while I know they are doing this wholeheartedly and they would rather die then give up to evil. It doesn't take away my responsibility but it makes me respect them more then I ever thought possible. Whatever happens here tonight, we are all heroes.

...

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Fred has fallen. He's dead. One second laughing, the next.. nothing. It doesn't seem real. I never imagined that _Fred_. He's one half of a duo, what is George going to do now? Poor Fred, he was the boy who brought laughter in to a dark world. Percy feels responsible, but I know that I am. I'm responsible for all of them.

...

Remus and Tonks are gone. Remus, the final Marauder and Tonks the wonderfully crazy metamorphagus. More of my self appointed family gone. They'll never see their son grow up and he will never be held by his parents again. This is just cruel. Voldemort has given us a short reprieve so I may show myself to him and prevent more loss, so that we may give up a losing battle. I know what I have to do now, Snape , his memories, have shown me that. I just hope I'm brave enough to do it.

...

I've never been as frightened as I was walking in to that forest to face my death. It seemed anticlimactic. All of this, all of the death and destruction, just so I can find out I've got to _die._ Bloody hell, Voldemorts been trying to do that for years! Now I've just got to let it happen? Well, so be it. If it will get his taint off of my soul, if it will help to save the future, then I will die. This is my fate, I can't escape it. I trust the others to finish off Voldemort and live happily ever after. This is my final sacrifice.

...

The Final Battle is over and while I did die, it wasn't in the permanent sense. Unfortunately for Lord Voldemort, or Tom Riddle as I have taken to calling him, his death was more on the permanent scale. I am not sorry to see him go. I am sorry for the price paid to defeat them. I am sorry for the survivors who must now bury friends, family members and loved ones. But at least no more innocent lives need to be lost in the pursuit of freedom. We've done it, though the cost was high. No longer is George a twin, no longer will Tonks and Remus be able to raise their son, no longer is Colin Creevy able to annoy me with his pictures. But we will remember and this way they will live on.

...

Some days remembering hurts too much. To remember my past is a burden I no longer wish to bear. The suffering I have withstood since I was an infant haunts my nights, and often my days, but still I go on and still I remember. Memory is all I have left of so many. My parents, Sirius, Dumbledore, Fred, Lupin, Tonks, and even Snape… so many lost and condemned only to memory. My past is full of darkness, of fear, of murder. Murder committed to those I love as well as by my own hand. For many days I feel as though I killed my loved ones just by having them retain that titled. I cared for them, and so damned them to death. I may not have cast the spell but I put them in the line of fire. But still, I am alive and I will not disrespect those who died by failing to live. Everyday I remember the sacrifice of so many and try to live up to their memory. One day I may forgive myself, but whether or not I do, I will never forget.

**A/N: Please Review!**


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